Friday, November 22, 2013

Monday, November 18, 2013

The best beard that you can grow.

Let’s talk about facial hair.

At the beginning of the month, many beards cried out in horror as men everywhere took razors to their faces in order to carve their lustrous and burly beards down to mustaches. My beard was one of those beards. And now I have a mustache. And a soul patch. Sole patch? Whatever. My face is cold against the November winds, my lips are chapped and cracked from constantly licking stray hairs off, and I’ve started beginning all my sentences with “Da” and ending them with “Ditka.” But that’s not the fucking point.

The point here is to talk about resources. When you have grown a beard, it represents a commitment, but it also represents possibility for change. Endless possibility. With a few strokes of a blade, you can be sculpted down to mutton chops, goatees, mustaches, chin straps, lines, that weird fucking dude from the hunger games movie, Tony Stark, Charlie Chaplin (before you very, very quickly realize that you cannot keep that one)… When you start with more, you have more options for your final product. It’s the same with money.

This zine is happening, one way or another.  If I have to stitch it together with used packing tape and print it on the backs of collection notices, goddamnit, I will. But if I can have it hand pressed on gold leaf and bound with the spines of cherubs, you best believe I will go that route. However, I am but one man. I only have so much at my disposal.

So, if you want to be awesome, throw your good friend the editor a bone. Or five bones. Or a hundred bones if you roll like that. Every dollar raised is going into this fucking zine. Also the party that will happen to celebrate the zine. Plus, the more we raise now, the cheaper the zines will be in the end (hopefully getting to a big ol’ $0 by the end).

Yes, my friends. Let us all take a look at the possibilities ahead of us. Let us grow now for a better tomorrow. And don’t forget to SUBMIT.